This week, much like last week and probably the one before that, has been a little off. The issue I ran into this week was just exams– I had two comprehensive, in-depth historical exams in classes that are jam-packed with details. It certainly didn’t help that both of the classes only have a few more grades in the rest of the semester. It feels terrible having to skip out on the newsroom, like I’m avoiding a huge amount of responsibility. I’m putting off some less pressing stories, yeah, but no one can be in the newsroom every day. It’s just a strange sensation. I’m missing some budget meetings and newsroom talk, but it’s not like I’m holding anything up.
I guess that it’s just the structure of the “class” that makes this so strange. It’s alienated me from my other classes– reporting is grade by doing, without exams based on memorization. I’m directly responsible for doing things for my byline, not lucking out with guessing on multiple choice or remembering a date. You’d think I’d be used to actually doing exams and studying, but even after two decades, I’m still lost on it. Without that actual element of interacting, of demonstrating the purpose and use for the subjects in class, I have a hard time actually finding any motivation. The motivation problem is a longstanding issue, but it’s just especially prominent this semester.
Next week is clip week.